Our certified family psychologist and sexologist Tracy Nalson has explained about ” The main signs when my wife/girlfriend is not attracted to me and what to do once you notice them”…
All tips provided in this article ( including useful links) are based on professional psychologists’ opinions and experience.
We Hope you’ll find beneficial the following valuable information along with the offered solutions to resolve some of your possible problems.
What happens when a woman is not sexually satisfied?
Women are more complicated than men and it concerns their sexuality as well. Sex is different for men and women. A sexually unsatisfied woman can be called this way when she does not consider sex enjoyable, pleasurable, and engaging. She wants sex less and less over time. Such dissatisfaction happens when a woman wants sex to be different but it is never the case. A woman feels nothing but frustration.
The following signs cannot be ignored because the problem cannot be solved itself without your participation.
| Problem: | Solution: |
| · Your woman thinks you do something wrong or don’t do anything in bed at all | · It can be true, so you have to analyze the situation, your sex patterns, and work on it |
| · She thinks she is not sexual enough | · It is never the case, so the problem can be in her self-esteem or your behavior because you do not let her be sexual. In this case, you both may need to work with a psychologist/sexologist |
| · She thinks you are not going well as a couple | · It really happens often. You may need to analyze your relationship and improve if there is a chance. Sometimes, it is better to break up |
| · Your wife/girlfriend doesn’t want sex at all | It often happens when a man cannot guarantee sexual security to his woman (check our article about the roles and needs of men and women in marriage) |
Sexual intimacy- What you MUST know…
If you cannot protect your woman sexually, it often turns into a sexually dissatisfied woman. What does it mean not to protect your wife or girlfriend sexually? It means that you have sex when you want it but she doesn’t want it at that moment. She may not want intimacy but you insist. It means that she is doing it against her will all the time.
As a result, your lady wants sex less and less and eventually, may become not attracted to husband or last but not least, not attracted to anyone at all. In this case, you both may need to apply to a psychologist or may need to stop this relationship if you are not ready to compromise.
One more reason for which a woman may not be satisfied sexually is that you don’t listen to your wife. In our article about the roles and needs of men and women in marriage, we have already covered this topic and told you what to do. Women need to get rid of their negative emotions and only men can help. If you don’t listen to her from time to time, your woman will not only stop wanting you, but also will be ill.
Is there a way to improve your sexual intimacy? Sure it is. You are welcome to consult one of our experts
Physical Attraction- Do you know what is really is?
It is really a combination of hormones, chemicals, attraction, or chemistry. So yes, attraction can exist without a relationship.
What is it that attracts us to others? Well, for some people it’s just physical. Many single people find that when they are really looking for love they do not even have to try and date anyone. They will meet people just from interacting with friends and family. It’s just as easy for a person who is divorced or who is still married to realize the physical aspects.
The best thing you can do for yourself in terms of physical attraction is to love yourself. When you do this you will really be on your way to meeting someone that will find you physically attractive, including your wife or girlfriend!
You do not have to change your personality or how you dress, but you do need to develop a healthy body and a healthy mind. It’s important to make sure that you take care of yourself. When you feel better about yourself it shows and you will find out that more and more people become attracted to you as well.
Does long-term relationship kills attraction?
Signs my wife is not attracted to me and why it happens…
When your wife is not attracted to you, it must be obvious. You can easily feel when something goes wrong between you and naturally, you can notice the signs a woman is attracted to you sexually with no problem.
If you still want to make sure, here are the “signs my wife is not attracted to me”…
| · No more intimacy |
| · She doesn’t want to cuddle |
| · Your wife doesn’t want to cook for you |
| Your wife refuses sex all the time |
| · She doesn’t spend time with you |
| · She doesn’t wear sexy lingerie for you |
These are just a few signs your wife is not attracted to you. Of course, you would like to know the reasons for it, so here you go:
| · You have never had love, only passion (sexual harmony lasts on average 7 months). If there is nothing more between you than just sex, that passion will fade away very quickly. You did not manage to get to know each other and started intimate relationships too soon. The end of passion is inevitable in this case. |
| · You are working all the time. If you work too much and have no time for your woman, it may happen that she stops being attracted to you physically. |
| · Your wife or girlfriend does not work and stays at home all the time. When a woman is simply bored and cannot think about what to do daily, she is not attracted to husband. In this case, it would be better to find some hobbies for her, friends, something she would enjoy doing. |
| · You are much older than your wife. When you have a big age gap, sexual problems are often the case. When your woman is much younger than you, she has a higher sex drive and more energy. You may simply not meet her needs. |
| · You have different sexual constitutions. In sexology, there is such a notion as a sexual constitution. Everyone has his or her own constitution. They hardly coincide in couples. However, if yours are totally opposite, you will definitely face intimate problems. For instance, you prefer night sex while your wife prefers it in the morning. You want everything to be fast while your woman is a slow rider. You want to have sex five times a month while your woman wants it every day. All these things make it very difficult for people to catch up with one another. You have to compromise and in this situation, at least one of you will suffer. |
| · Your wife is cheating on you. Yes, this also happens, unfortunately. You should realize though that cheating is not one of the signs that your girlfriend isn\’t sexually attracted to you. It is already the end of your relationship. It means that before it happened, everything was really bad in your couple. Happy people do not cheat. |
| · You are totally different people with different interests. Once again, your relationship was only based on sex eventually and there was no emotional closeness. Step-by-step, your woman will find someone who shares her interests. Yes, at first, it may be just friendship but keep in mind there is no friendship between men and women in the full understanding of this word. It will end up with a relationship. |
| · She is just tired. Yes, women can be tired with work, the household, and kids. They may simply lack the energy to sleep with you. You should help her relax, give her some time for herself, and make her want to live a full life again. Of course, if you want your wife to be attracted to you again. |
Lack of attraction attraction towards own husband to husband …What to do…?
Stop panicking first!
Sometimes, it only seems that someone is not attracted to us anymore. Look at those possible reasons for which it may happen and analyze your relationship. Maybe none of them is your case and your wife is simply tired. You may think that she doesn’t want you anymore while she is exhausted due to her daily routine.
You think a woman is not attracted to husband while she only wants to have some rest. What you should do is to find out the reason why you think so first. If you cannot do it on your own, it would be good to apply to a specialist — a family therapist or sexologist. These people will help you understand why it is happening to you.
If you are sure no one is cheating and you can keep saving your relationship, here is the TOP practical advice on what to do to improve the situation:
| 1 | Start building your relationship from the scratch if it was only based on passion
Yes, it will be hard but it is possible to build a family as it is necessary even when everything seems to be lost. You should start conquering your woman again. Do not sleep together but get to know one another. Go on dates, bring her flowers, discuss serious questions. Who knows, you may consider that you both need to move further because you are not right for one another. Remember, a relationship based on sex initially is sentenced to failure. |
| 2 | Find common hobbies
If you do not spend a lot of time together, you may need to find something that will unite you and help you spend more time together again. Go to the gym, draw, attend exhibitions, swim, do whatever you both can enjoy. Have a short weekend vacation after all. |
| 3 | Separate
Yes, sometimes, all you need is to live on distance for some time. Living on distance means no calls, no meetings, no dates. You both need time to understand where you are and what to do. During this period, you both may miss one another so much and realize that you cannot live without each other. The result can be the opposite — you may realize that you feel much better without this person and want to end this relationship. |
| 4 | Talk to your woman
It may happen that you, actually, do not know what your woman wants in bed from you. You should discuss it with her. Find out what she really loves and expects you to do or not to do. This talk must be as open as possible. You both have to share your feelings and expectations. You can realize that you have never known your wife before. |
| 5 | Turn to a specialist
A psychologist or sexologist (if you believe the problem has sexual roots) will help you understand the source of the problem and solve it together. Very often, there are psychological reasons for a woman not attracted to husband. |
What if a woman is not attracted to anyone?
It seems that this is insane. Everyone is attracted to someone. However, there is such a notion in psychology and it is called asexuality. Asexuality is a lack or absence of sexual attraction to others or a very low or zero sexual desire. According to Wikipedia, 1% of people on Earth are asexual.
It does not mean that these people are abnormal or ill. Not at all. Asexuality is an absolute norm, as well as high or low sex drive. These people don’t suffer because they are not attracted to anyone. They also get married and have a relationship. However, it is crucial for them to be married people with the same low sexual constitution, otherwise, both will not be happy in this union.
These people also have children. They are not impotent. Sex is just not important and not even attractive for them. They can normally live without it and enjoy other, more enjoyable things, in their opinion. Therefore, if your woman belongs to this 1% of people on the planet and for you, sex is an inevitable and very important part of your life, you should by all means build a relationship with this lady. You both will be miserable in this couple. Ideally, you should search for a woman with the same sexual constitution as yours:
| Your sexual desires and sex drives should coincide (you should have sex approximately as many times during the month as your partner) |
| You both should want sex in the same parts of the day (morning/evening/night) |
| The length of intercourse should also coincide |
It is necessary to admit that these aspects hardly coincide in different couples. Normally, the sexual lives of men and women are different. If all this coincides, it is called sexual harmony. If it doesn’t, you should take into account that women have different phases during the month when they want to have sex a lot and don’t want it at all. It does not mean that a woman is not attracted to anyone. It only means that she is attracted to different types of men within one month.
No worries, it does not mean that your woman will cheat on you. However, during the ovulation stage, women prefer brutal and decisive men while apart from it, they want someone very soft and home-like. You cannot change it because this is the nature of women. Just try to find compromises and please your woman. If she isn’t attracted to you at the moment, just try to find out what you should do so she would want you as much as you want her.
( In his classic work, The Art of Loving, renowned psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm explores love in all its aspects—not only romantic love, steeped in false conceptions and lofty expectations, but also brotherly love, erotic love, self-love, the love of God, and the love of parents for their children)
My wife doesn’t t love me anymore! Is there a chance to improve it?
At first, let’s try to understand what love is from a scientific point of view. Love is not only the feeling you experience. It is not about those butterflies in your stomach. Love is the combination of three factors:
| · Passion |
| · Emotional/spiritual closeness |
| · Responsibility |
We have already discussed it in our previous posts. If one of these factors lacks in your relationship, it is not love. Therefore, if your wife does not love you anymore, it may only mean that there was no love in your relationship from the very beginning. Passion can fade away very quickly. Passion is nothing without emotional closeness and responsibility.
If initially, you fell in love based on passion, this will stop sooner or later. You will think one of you doesn’t love another one. But it only means no one loved from the very beginning. You were only sleeping together. Anyways, is there any chance to improve that?
Yes, there is a small chance, of course. To do that, you will have to build your relationship from the very beginning. From the very beginning means not from the point where everything was broken. It means from the point where you two met. Of course, in this situation, it is necessary to weigh all pros and cons. If you think your wife doesn’t love you anymore because she is already in a relationship with another man, there is no reason to save it all. However, if you both want to have everything back, you can start building a relationship from scratch as it has to be built!
If your marriage already is broken and you did not manage to save it or your girlfriend is not interested in you anymore but you do not want to be alone, try our services that will not only help you find your soulmate but will teach you how to build a relationship and a happy and healthy family life!
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